When I was growing up in Poland, during the communist era, International Women’s Day was a big deal. While not a public holiday, it was always celebrated at school and at work. As girls in primary school, every year we were given a single flower.
Of course, back then, I didn’t give the meaning behind the day a second thought.
I was quite surprised, however, that in Australia, March 8 came and went and nobody mentioned anything about Women’s Day. No flowers, no celebrations.
As I entered the workforce in the 1990s, International Women’s Day began to slowly infiltrate Australian society’s consciousness and I noticed more and more events organised every year to celebrate and acknowledge women.
Now, in our increasingly connected world, and maybe particularly because I work in social media, International Women’s Day seems to be almost as big a deal in Western society as it was back in Poland.
To be honest, in the past, I had taken the role women play in our world for granted, or at least the perceived equality and value of women in our culture. Again, it may be that growing up in a fairly egalitarian, as far as gender was concerned, society, I assumed that, of course, women are valued and equal.
As I became a mother and as I woke up to my own circumstances, I also began waking up to what is almost a nightmarish oppression of women in our “egalitarian” society. We give lip service to gender equality and, as career women, we may even believe it, but as soon as we pause to have babies, our value seems to diminish to being “just mothers”.
It seems to me that we are our own worst enemies. It would be easy to blame it on “society”, but society is more than half female. We ourselves put extremely low value on the qualities we have as women, the qualities that distinguish us from men and the work that women do. We have worked so hard to make the world believe that we are as good as men, that we only think ourselves successful when we are LIKE men.
Men and women are not the same. We are different. We are complementary. We see the world differently. Our differences are what we should value, not our similarities. Women do not need to change their innate natures to feel valuable and successful.
We need to value who we are – whether we are mothers, crafters, artists, film makers or business executives. Before we are any of those, we are human. I’d like to live in a world where women can be themselves and still be valued by society, no matter what role they choose to take in it.
It saddens me to see how many women are still desperate to “get a man”. We live in a culture, where a woman still does not seem to be complete without a man.
At a birthday celebration a couple of years ago, I was part of a conversation with a group of women in their thirties about how badly men treated some other women they knew. We talked about cheating, lying, verbal and emotional abuse. We agreed that the only reason this happened is that the women allowed it. The women were so “desperate” that they would do anything and put up with anything just to “get and keep a man”. And of course, the men thought that it was acceptable behaviour, too.
And I know that I was like that, too. I sacrificed my self-respect, my values, my intuition, just to be with someone.
I am now seeing how things really are and I am imagining how things could be. I am seeing the value and power of women in our society. There is a revolution building. I love this article by Tara Mohr, that shows just how powerful women can be.
I want to leave you with this inspirational video from TEDxWomen about the power of connection, the power of women and the emerging consciousness of the interdependence of our world.
What do you think? Do you think women value themselves enough? What can you do today to value yourself just a tiny bit more?
No. We are not equal. Part of it is certainly that we don't value ourselves enough. Some is equally certainly entrenched in our community. I have been telling my neurologist (the only one in town) for a number of years that my pain is significant. He did not address it until my partner (quite co-incidentally) went to a consultation with me and nodded as I talked about my pain. The neurologist did something to address the pain for the first time. I needed to be more assertive. The neurologist needed to place more value on what I told him. Both at fault.
I think this inequality is so entrenched in our society that we don’t even notice it most of the time. We just assume that that’s how things are. That neurologist sounds like an ass.
I had no idea it was IWD today until I received an email about it a few weeks ago. And then Kony happened. IWD kinda got buried!
I've never heard of Women's Day. (oblivious American). Neat.
I agree. Equality is subjective, always has been. My view of equality, what it means to me and how I want the world to see me, is completely different from any other woman on the planet.
This is a great, thought-provoking post, and I learned something about the cultures outside the U.S. Awesome!
I just heard about Women's Day for the first time this year. It is not talked about here very much in the USA. Gosh, Hallmark doesn't even have a card for this, that I know of!
I like your article. You bring up a lot of interesting points. I think that women nuture others well, but that we should stop feeling guilty about doing the things that we want to do. It's okay to take care of ourselves too!
LOL! I think my awareness of it is probably super heightened due to my childhood experiences J Interestingly, though a lot of the material I’ve been seeing this year has been coming from the US.
Check out TEDxWomen.org of you’re interested in the difference women are making in the world.
Interestingly enough, a lot of the information about it this year was coming out of the US. Perhaps I am just plugged into the right channels, especially given my passion for gender equality. I see any information about it and I pounce on it 🙂 This is always been a part of my consciousness.
I'm glad you enjoyed the post and I'm thrilled that you keep coming back for more…
It kind of came up very quickly, didn't it? I knew I wanted to write a post along these lines, but suddenly the day was here…!
“We have worked so hard to make the world believe that we are as good as men, that we only think ourselves successful when we are LIKE men.”
I'm struggling with this, now that I am no longer living in a “man's” world. Sure, I run a business… still to be successful, but on it's way! But it's strange how the shift away from being an “earner” to a work-at-home mum undermines the self-worth a little. Must be something in the washing! Or maybe it get sucks up by the vacuum cleaner. Being a mum is inherently worthwhile. Being a home-maker is inherently worthwhile. I have to keep reminding myself. In many ways, our drive to “make it” outside the home has diminished this value.
Great article Dorothy. Happy belated International Womens' Day.
Thanks, Cath. I’m glad you liked it. It is so hard to remember that what we do as mothers, as homemakers is just as important as earning a wage. I struggle with it myself. For me, success is still defined by how much money I am bringing in, what house I live in and what car I drive. While, really, I need to look at my children and see what kind of human beings they are…